I would not have confused tests with testes, if

I would not have been called national disaster, told to learn gymnastics of the tongue, if

My tongue would not have rolled, curled then flattened like names also words otherwise every-wrecked-where, if

I would not have trusted English common nouns, called myself Hope, Waiting, Sorry, Air or Human, if

You would not have worn a face so critical it collapsed, if

I would not have believed in a mask’s weeping, if

My lips would not have felt redundant, yet inadequate, if

The reality would have stayed inside your perception, if

I would not have needed to unlock some layers of that reality, if

I would not have said I would change sin, if

By that I would not have meant I would change first, if

Either way, the change did not happen, if

James Baldwin would not have said people could cry much easier than they changed, if

That day would have gone fine, or however you liked it to be, if

To love would have been to undress your name, if

I would not have been an inheritor of hurt, if

I would not have been a book opened just to relate to a desk, something words had nothing to do with if