The Common Trolleybus (Zooxantenna zooxantenna)

General Knowledge

What do we know about the common trolleybus (Zooxantenna zooxantenna)? There are several sub-species to be found. Sub-specie names are normally determined by the country of origin. In other words, certain migration patterns are in place. In order to determine the potential size of the wintering trolleybus population, the common herd size, and other regularities, maximum observational data is required. Only with extensive observation data available can a clearer understanding of the species be achieved. We therefore appreciate the active stance our readers take in sharing their observations. In summation of the facts received and described, it appears that our region is frequented by Czechoslovakian refrigerator-type ancients and even a space-planet Solaris or two. Due to Lithuania’s unique habitation conditions, the indigenous Amber trolleybus has developed here.
Once, trolleybuses were feral. Per the renowned entomology etymologist Murmelius Otterson, “The word trolleybus reveals a worrisome nature, related as it is to Scandinavian trolls and to bugs.” Scholars are still uncertain with the regard to this creature’s distinguishing feature. Some call them horns, others claim these are feelers. A third, modern version states that these are no more horns or antennae than feelers, and in fact they are a tool for scratching wires. We believe that these horns are only found on males who use them as protection against enemies and for fighting other males. The female has a pair of very long thin feelers on its head referred to by zoologists as antennae — a very apt term. When a female rides by, one can easily observe its feelers moving constantly in every direction, much like the antennae on a working radar. The position of the horns/feelers/antennae reflects the animal’s state. The anterior ones contain motor neurons followed by axons. The posterior ones connect motor and sensory neurons. The lateral or medial ones have functioning sensory neurons of the sensation nerves. This must be how Carl Linney came up with the Latin name for the common trolleybus.
Trolleybuses were first domesticated around the time that the first parks were established in cities. They settle only in parks, normally in large colonies. They sleep soundly, unable to see or hear. Yet should the air be shaken or the sensitive horns/feelers/antennae touched, the animal rises immediately. Unfortunately, not all cities have parks and proper habitation conditions. Biologists have recently discovered that the common trolleybus is a rare animal, found in few locations around the world.
Some larger specimens reach 12 years of age and a 3-ton weight. Yet the average lifespan is 4—8 years. The coloring varies, but is usually bright; it once depended on certain pigmentation cells, but lately is more related to the aesthetic tastes of advertising clients. (The Lithuanian Trolleybus Observation and Protection Society is keeping a keen eye on this development.)
The trolleybus propels itself very quickly, based on the rocket engine principle, pushing air out of the body in a sudden boost. Some, in their speedy progress, jump off the road and fly up to 40 meters in the air. Aphids and weevils are apparently not the only animals ridden with parasites. All species are susceptible. More on parasites in the body of the trolleybus — see “Conductors and passengers. Possible forms of interaction and types of parasitism.” Or “Rules of carriage of passengers and cargo by trolleybuses in Vilnius. By resolution No. 1-402 of Vilnius City Council, January 25, 2012.” Some domesticated specimens will become capricious and refuse to carry passengers. Ostensibly, sudden irritation provokes a nervous shock (“feeling off” — “feelers off”), called thanatosis in entomology. An animal experiencing thanatosis will become immobile, seemingly lifeless. It will spread its horns/feelers/antennae to the sides and stop. For such an event, every trolleybus has a rope attached to its horns/feelers/antennae in the dorsal part, enabling the driver to exit the cabin, grab the disobedient beast’s horns/feelers/antennae and give it a good yank. This causes the animal to calm down, return to its senses and continue its usual life route.
When parasites exhaust them, they rebel and run off to the woods. Should a domesticated bus cross their path in the wild, they swallow it whole, wheels included. Evacuation is performed via pulsating vacuoles. Still, the woods lack electric power, and stray buses are scarce, leaving the animals starved. In their attempt to catch radio or cell waves, the horns/feelers/antennae vibrate ceaselessly. Radio waves are weak, so the creature remains hungry, malnourished, famished. The hunger drives them to transformer substations where they can be recaptured. The best bait is a live electric wire. Note that the current must be continuous; they are not attracted to other kinds. When the trolleybus approaches and grabs the bait, use the same wire to lasso it in. Recaptured, they gamely raise their horns/feelers/antennae and set to running along their route. Still, if you see a lost or escaped specimen, it is better to report it to ME “Susisiekimo paslaugos”, 15 Žolyno st., or use the phone line 8 800 22 922 free of charge.
Traditionally, since ancient Egyptian times, each trolleybus is branded with a number. Why? So that people should not forget their maths, numbers, multiplication, subtraction, addition, and division. When we look at a trolleybus and see its number, we are reminded of these. Apparently, the different sexes of the trolleybus seem to flock together: females run along sidewalks, while males keep to the middle of the road. Amateur naturalists can easily distinguish between females and males by their numbers: males typically bear odd numbers, while females have even ones.